ego,eagle,ego,eagle

Ego,what really is ego,is it like eagle,or does eagle has lots of ego.Cos my mum keep saying i need to control my ego.On one hand i am always scared,y??Feels like survival instinct controls me,likes those nuclear power plants with lots of buttons in.And on the other hand,i have a gigantic ego inside me,like so big which can crush Earth like Olympus Mons on Mars.Feels like i am gonna be someone big,i can feel that i will be rich and success.No i dont feel it,i know it.I always been lazy but when i worked hard,i am always better than most of the people and now i choose to work really hard maybe this is y i think i am gonna be big.

  But as i work harder and harder,there are lets and lets people around me,i guess only solitude can lead to glory,but that really does fuck my mind up sometimes.My mind is contradicting itself(myself).Like eating m & m s with ketchup,something like that,that 50 cent song does describe what i feel,not saying which one but,i feels that i know lots of people and have friends but they dont really know me,not the real me,and when there is really a person knows me,then will leave me.Can i really find a ground which i will feel comfy??