weird day and i am back

WHAT A FUCKIN SHIT DAY, yer its me again haha whenever you see me writing on this you know what it means it means i am facing challenges and problems yer shit fuckin up my life yep you are right fuckin feeling that awful crap in my body again that weird wibblely worm that go weird inside your body,whatever people want to call that frustration?? Annoyance? Fuckin pain in the ass? well i have no idea but i guess you know what i mean lol fuckin piece of shit you fuckin twat em.. i wonder why when people swear it kinda create a form of lettin stress out? a form of relaxation, why is it a fall of moral would somehow create that short brief but sharp relaxing feeling? Well today is totally feels like goin against my way,goin the opposite direction of where i am going.starting from ok to bad to worse to worst to shit to fuckin shit to fuckin shuff it up your arse,yer oo well feels like a bomb is stuck in my lungs and gonna explode and you need to get it out but you dunno which wire to cut and you see the time is ticking ticking and that wiggley worm inside you em.. i wonder what can i do well i cant do press up now as i ate so much for dinner,so much things piss me off.oo well i guess its life nothing go the same way all the time haha if it goes your way the whole time,everything is goin well then you should be scared haha cos nothing will be perfect the whole time,it means its gonna turn shit absolutely fucked,you know?

oo well so yer there are so much things are goin against my way today but i guess haha think positive right,in every situtaion there must be something that we can learn yer?? em.. so what do we do when there are people that really piss us off? oo haha train our patience?? lol that sounds a bit crap doesnt it haha well i guess its a way of seeing it.haha well i wrote what i felt now so i guess i feel a bit better but like yer it did feel shit em.. 80% of things go against our way right? i guess being alone is the best cos like whatever you do its always under your control poo but it makes it sounds like you are not able to face challenges and changes lol oo well i guess its life em.. maybe its really is my life hahahahahahha been so long so many loops so many rounds of ups and downs fight and make up,smiles and cries,scream and quietness.so many extremes so many many pain and happiness many many time of trying and never give up and haha been so long i guess it feels like at the end the answer for me is solitude em.. maybe well i am not quite sure yet but it seems to me people annoys me lol and when everyone arounds me seems to like spending times with their friends spending time with their families for some reason lol i dont hahaha am i a absolute freaks i mean i do want to see my family once in a while to see how they are to look after them and be responsible but like all the people around me would want to be with people and spend time with them go out go to the pub have fun whatsoever lol but me haha i guess i am not a human being or something i love sittin by myself in absolute silent just sit there and let the silence around me make me feel relax feel safe feel comfy and in control of my own environment and feel there is no extreme there are no arguements no hate no laugh no cries no pain no different just absolute peace and silence. well just want to try my best everyday in the day on my work then come home and spend time be absolute silent,i just hate dealing with people. haha sorry i am a absolute freak but i guess it makes me feel relaxed.haha its absolute funny that that feeling of that nightmare has came back to haunt me, you know that feelings that nightmare well its my most scariest night mare that i ever had,its when i am sittin there and in a room and there is a person a person that i love sittin infront of me and i try to talk to him or her it seems like she cant feel the existence of me,she cant hear me feel me see me nothing,she cant even feel my breathe when i am so closed to her face,its that horrible feeling of being neglected. i guess. well then you try screaming screaming the loudest as you can into their ear hoping they can hear you but they cant they dont notice you at all, and it seems like you cant even make noise. that weird dream freaks me out and it feels like that in real life. anyways i guess i should start another post cos its gettin too long lol

new name

I guess it is time for me to change my blogger name

I once had a odd roller-coaster mind i still remember,its like just happened yesterday.Its only been a year and a half but i seemed like a different person.

Now my brain is like the calm mulit-directional thinkers head.

Whatever happen,whatever will happen,whatever might happen.

Doesnt matter,doesnt matter if you have tried if you have tried your hardest.

I do miss the time when i used to fight hard in the battle of the mind,it was tough

i still remember tiredness of the body,bitterness of the mind,hunger of the needs.

I had been thru them quite a few times,it is the feeling of experience in life,

It is the things that make your eyes sparkle.it is that feelin when you look into 

someone else and you would go wow he or she is cool.It is that feelin of hardship.

That unexplainable feeling of wise and experience.Now i am finally gaining a little

but i have no idea if it is good or bad but life is just life there are no good or bad 

I will write later i am sleepy goodnight world

goodnight moon and stars,hang in there lol 

Tried everything thats can be tried

I have tried all that i could,so much effort had been put in,its totally over the top i couldnt even believe myself.A game can never be played with only one side of the people,a conversation can be happen with one person.A clap will not make noise with one hand.Atleast i had tried my part for months.

  Well and i totally have no idea why i am disregarded too,cos i have never done anything wrong.I asked millions of times no result was given.I guess this is why i am so dumb,only dumb people with strong emotion keep speakin and asking and want things to get better.Clever people would stepped out ages ago,gave up and let go.But this is who i am,i try things to 100% i give all i am,hahahaha so funny that i am so tired out because of this i was ill twice.Maybe its time for me to learn to be clever,let go in time,cos it is just gonna back fire well it had again and again and again ......no comment i just wanted to make things better,just wanted to be happy thats all.Tried my best and stil didnt work so no regret.

      Now i am back to this complete silent writing this on my own,with my tired ill body waiting for new year to come,would be horrific but powerful memory if i have no one to talk to before new year.But i guess life has its only mysterious ways.

   Well i gotta head out now. hahaha probabaly no one will ever read this but oo well

FUck it lol 

活在當下

欲知昨日因，且看今日果；欲知明日果，且看今日因  

What happen today,is the cause from yesterday,what you do today wil affect tomorrow.

Do your best for now 

please once again

It's been long,I thought that strength and feeling from the inside is long gone.I had been come weak for this few months,seems like my body isnt in my control.Tiredness totally over ride my body.It had became my body's master.Telling me to not to do the right things.

   But yet again life had becoming challenging again.This feeling of not want to lose,of determination,this preserveance stil to sparkle in me again.

   I will need it to run into flames,i will need it to grow.If i want to success i will need to work hard,take the pain,sweat,understanding that to reach a goal is done by many little steps many little bit of hardwork combine together.

May i please have the strength determination in me again.I will need it to success

Regrouping

After all the days of crazy experience and hardship.Those had gone.Tired i am so tired.

What now do i have to do.Rethink rethink.One mission is done now replan the next big one.

Tomorrow goal set and let set out on the trip and find and reach the goal.

Will have to do the best of everything

Perserevance

Life

Life is hard.No one ever said its gonna be nice and easy and fun.If it is just pure fun then we wont find it fun anymore.Its becos fun its so rare that we appreciate it when we have it.And our goal is to make life fun thru all the hardship we live in